


Step Forward Breath

by Letters_to_Somebody



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: M/M, Past Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:13:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27900571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Letters_to_Somebody/pseuds/Letters_to_Somebody
Summary: Ash is tricked into going to a therapy session by Eji who can't carry the weight of Ash's past on his own. He wants Ash to heal properly.
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 2
Kudos: 46





	Step Forward Breath

**Author's Note:**

> This was a prompt from Tumblr! They requested this be from the perspective of the therapist. And I tried! if you want to send in prompts go to deadgirlblogger on tumblr!

He looked nervous, everyone was nervous when they first started, but he looked ready to bolt. One hand twitched against the arm of the chair while the other hand was gripping it tight enough to turn his knuckles white. There were very conflicting sides to him, that much was obvious even I hadn’t been warned prior. 

“Aslan,” I started.

“Ash,” He spoke gruffly before pushing back his long blonde bangs with his fidgeting hand. 

I nodded, “Ash, would you like some water?”

His green eyes locked onto the water pitcher coldly.

“I promise nothing here will hurt you,” I poured two glasses. 

Chuckling Ash smirked, “I’ve heard that one before.”

Saying no more I took a sip of water; he would be a tough case. 

“How much did Eji tell you,” Ash’s sarcastic tone had gone flat, all business. 

“That he’s worried,” I answered warmly, “He just wants to help you.”

Crossing his arms Ash leaned back in the chair, “I don’t want this kind of help,” his hand waived around generally as he spoke. 

I nodded, “And that’s fine, if you decide not to return after this, I’m sure he’ll be happy you tried.”

Ash was silent again his eyes darting around the room possibly searching for escapes. It was making more and more sense as to why Eji was worried and made the appointment. Leaning back in my own chair I took another sip of water, Ash would be a handful, and may really not return after a silent session. Hopefully though I could get something out of him. 

“Is Eji a friend or relative?” I asked. 

Ash scowled, “What’s it to you?”

I shrugged, “I was just wondering. Getting someone a therapy appointment really is a sign of caring.” 

Ash sighed his shoulders falling just slightly, “He’s more than a friend, but I don’t think we’ve put a label on it.”

“Taking it slow is smart, young people tend to move too fast these days.”

Ash cocked an eyebrow, “You don’t think it’s weird?”

“Falling in love with another man? No,” I answered, “Do you feel weird about it?”

Ash was silent again, “Maybe.”

“Why.”

Ash looked down at his still hands, “Have you watched the news recently?”

“I have,” I answered nodding. 

Ash looked uncomfortable again, his shoulders high avoiding all eye contact as he bit his lip. Whatever words he was forming in his brain I could tell there was a big breakthrough happening behind his emerald eyes. 

“Did you,” Ash paused. 

From the short session so far, I knew the thought weighed on him heavily. Everything he’d said up until this point had rolled off his tongue with ease. He mastered language and knew what to say holding a conversation confidently. Patience would be key with him, he needed control, that I could give him. 

“Did you see that story about the child trafficking ring the mafia had?”

A chill ran up my spine as I nodded. 

“I was one of those kids what feels like forever ago,” Ash reached forward grabbing the glass of water just holding it, “Eji’s loved me through all that crap waiting so patiently for me to get better as if I could. I was in there for years; I know it screwed me up. Eji tries, but I see it in his face when we talk, he can hardly stomach the details sometimes. He wants to help so bad- he’s the first man to help me and ask for nothing in return.” Ash paused taking a drink. 

I nodded indicated I was listening, but I refused to break his flow. 

“Eji asked me to move to Japan with him, I really have a chance to change my whole life around,” Ash looked longingly out the window. 

“What was your answer to this offer?”

Ash shrugged, “I told him I needed think, I mean I lived in New York forever. To just leave.”

“What are you afraid of?” I dared to ask pushing his boundaries. 

“I don’t know what I’m afraid of, but I’m afraid. One day it all will fall away,” Ash sank into the chair, but his regular strong cadence had started to return.   
“I could hear it in his voice,” I played with the pen in my fingers, “He really wants to see you get help, to heal as slowly as you need to, but to heal all the same.”

Ash’s eyes locked back on me lighting up. 

“You think so?”

“I think so,” I started writing on the legal pad.

There was a comfortable pause and I decided to push, “Can you tell me more about before you met Eji? About the trafficking?”

Ash’s shoulders went up, and I was expecting to be shut out for pushing my luck. Another sip of water in silence on Ash’s part, and slowly he started to open up. It was a few disjointed sentences about being hurt physically and mentally. About hating himself for letting himself give up and become a glorified toy. It was painful for him, to relive so much, it seemed to crash in on him all at once. I sat taking note letting him vent and talk in any way he saw fit. He took pauses and I poured him more water.   
Eventually he paused long enough for me to consider he was done sharing. I finished writing and smiled gently.

“That was a lot to share. I’m glad you got that off your chest,” I put my pencil down, “We could go longer, but Eji is probably here to pick you up with your original session coming to a close. My door is always open if you want to speak again, you could even bring Eji in next time if you’d like,” I offered. 

Ash shrugged, “I did say I wouldn’t come back, but Eji might make me,” He rolled his eyes. 

As Ash walked out of my office, he paused at the door glancing back, his emerald eyes shone, glittery and free. There was a different air about him as he left a piece of him behind int eh four walls of my office. I was happy to keep it here for him. It would be a long process to proper healing, but I was sure he would be back scribbling his name in my appointment book, he was on the road to recovery. Eji and I would see he made it to the end.


End file.
